Is our marriage doomed because we fight?

     My man and I have been working through some issues lately.  I guess it would be more accurate to say that I have been working through issues, and my husband is plodding through them with me.  I have a love hate relationship with seasons like these:  seasons where everything seems to be hard, and emotions are raw.  I hate these seasons for obvious reasons.  They are hard.  I love them because I know it will end; and when it does, it will produce something good.  When my darling husband and I throw down and really battle through the tough spots, ultimately, our marriage is refreshed and made stronger.  It is strengthened, rather than destroyed, because we have committed to stay and fight.  

     Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof's book, Parenting Beyond Your Capacity says, “Every family fights, but there is a world of difference between when you fight with someone and when you fight for someone,” [p. 101]  Families are messy.  Marriage is messy, but when you have chosen to fight for your spouse difficulties become the rich, black soil of real growth.  

     My marriage has faced some dark days.  There have been some hard battles fought here, and I believe that it is because of them, rather than in spite of them, that my husband and I are so deeply in love.

     If you are in one of those tough seasons, I encourage you to fight for your beloved.  Don't let issues go unresolved or hurts fester.  Battle through them. Don't accept a luke-warm marriage.  Fight for a great one!  It is worth it.

From HK to the other kids of the world

My sweet HK came home from church and typed out this post.  She says she is writing a book to tell other kids about Jesus.  So, today I have invited her to be my "guest blogger".  

THE FAITH OF A CHRISTIAN BY HK  TO THE OTHER KIDS OF THE WORLD

      A Childs relationship with God is strong. and a child like me may have such a strong relationship with Jesus that they may have an experience in their life that an adult has NEVER had before. But you are never too old or young to have a relationship with JESUS. I am 8 and I already have a very strong relationship with Jesus. Being a Christian means to me a lot.  It means to believe in him to talk to him and to truly love him.   When I am happy I thank him for what he has given me.  When I am sad, he cheers me up.  He is with me every day and he is close. Being Christian is about faith, love, Honor, trust and kindness. Jesus loves every one of his children and he always will.  

Little People, Big Faith

In my last post, I was sentimental about our baby losing her first tooth.  Sometime after I wrote that post, my girls came to me with a request.  I encouraged them to pray about it and left it at that.  The answer to their prayers came in the form of a 7lb baby girl.  God gave them a new, little sister to love and adore.

So, little E's first lost tooth was not truly the last of the first lost teeth.  No, the tooth fairy will be flying by here for at least 8 more years.  Life's funny!

Just when I start to figure the whole thing out, the game completely changes.  My man and I were done with babies.  Sleeping through the night suited me quite well.  So, why did I tell my kids to pray about having another sibling.  Simply, because the one thing I truly want in life is to do God's will.  I fall remarkably short of following Him perfectly, but I do desire His will more than anything .  I did not tell the girls to pray as a way of writing them off.  I told them that if God wanted us to have another baby, then I would be happy to receive it.  It would just require God to be very clear because my plans were heading in a different direction.  He was was clear.   Six months after the girls started praying, their prayers were answered.  Surprise!  

Baby A is the cooing, giggling reminder to my children that their God hears their prayers.  What a precious way for the Lord to speak!  

Now we have a boisterous family of seven. Our days (and nights)  are radically different than they were 2 years ago.  There are cheerios on the floor again and a ginormous excersaucer consuming our living room.   I can not make a trip to the grocery store without at least one comment from a perfect stranger regarding my small army of children.  And frankly, I am quite proud of them.  They are each so spunky and different.  They bring deep joy to my days!

Psalm 127:3  Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.

The Last of the Firsts

Our baby lost her first tooth.

 It wiggled for about 2 weeks.  

Then at last it came out!  A very proud day. 

 The letter to the Tooth Fairy was composed,

 and placed under the pillow.  

Her older sister walked her through the whole protocol.  She obviously has a lot of experience in the area.

 Little E heard rumors from the older kids that mom is the Tooth Fairy, but she knows better. 

"Because", she retorted...  "if Mom is the Tooth Fairy, then how would she fit under my pillow?"  

Apparently, that little magical gal did come last night. Just as E had hoped.  We all woke up very early this morning to the excited shouts of a little girl who found a treat tucked under her pillow.

 Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.
  ~Rabindranath Tagore

Juxtaposition

   Last night my two youngest wrangled the whole family into the living room to watch a play they had "written" and "produced"  It was an interesting story- starting out with a teacher and a student doing school together.  Then things turned dangerous as the student unexpectedly revealed her hidden identity as a pirate.  The play concluded  in gruesome manner when the pirate slayed the teacher and stood victoriously over her instructor's body, waving her sword over her head.  At last, we all clapped wildly in praise of their literary genius, and the two actors bowed triumphantly. But that was not the end of the show... When the applause died down, the older one looked at the younger and said, "OK. Get your microphone.  Now lets sing some worship music."

The Details of a Lovely Life

Vintage yellow buttons, embellished with bright red cherries, dot the front of my pinstriped blouse. They are whimsical little details that whisper the memory of the creative spirit that found delight in them. The blouse is a piece from a summer line designed by my sister, Amy Rigg. It typifies her art, beauty with a hint of whimsy and… an element that made it more than a piece of clothing. It was the details that Amy added that gave each piece a soul.

Amy was captivated by details. She found pleasure in their subtle loveliness. She could delight at the shape of a button, the feel of a fabric, an image from a dream, or a small thought voiced from one of her children. From wrapping paper to wedding dresses, Amy added the details that made them magical.

As many of you know, her life ended far too early. Three years ago today, my sister, Amy, died of cancer. The details of that day still flash through my mind, and I try to find the beauty in them. When I can’t, I walk further in. Deeper in time, I find the details of a lovely life- her laughter, the color she painted a wall, the pleasure of fresh corn eaten together on a porch overlooking the sea, the things that irritated her, the way she wore her blush, the pet names she called her kids- and today, I pause again to find the pleasure in them.

Oh, Lord, as time passes, please secure these memories in my mind. Help me not to forget the small moments that tie me to Amy now. As I am here and she is not, I ask you to hold her close. Open the universe of beauty, to her, that you have created for her to delight in, and give me peace as I continue to trust her into your hands. Amen

Ode to the Fabulous Women of God

I've always had somewhat of a dislike for the proverbs 31 woman. She just made me feel guilty. All of the wonderful doings of her day made me dizzy. That is- until I read this post, "I Think the Proverbs 31 Wife Liked to be on Top." A bit scandalous, I know, but it really puts the gal in the proper light. She was a passionate woman whose talents and whose love for her man and her kids resulted in wonderful works. Being a good mom or wife is not about checking all the boxes in some cosmic "to do" list. I know many faithful women that I could write a "Proverbs 31-like" ode to, and the outstanding works of each one would be different. One works diligently to feed her family pure and healthy foods; one coaches her children's sports teams and leads their girl scout troops; one models hospitality and charity to her family and engages them in serving others; one sits on the floor and plays make-believe with her sweet little girl. The specific gifts of each of these ladies are different, but their heart is the same. They love the Lord and they love the husband and children that He's given them. Each one is a witness to the fabulous, creative God that made them. I won't be planting a vineyard any time soon, but I will be planting a tomato plant with my little gardener, Katie bug, and taking hot kids to the pool, and hustling everyone and their friends into the car to make it to vacation bible school on time, and maybe when the day is done, I just might like to be on top!

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal 5:1